The 10 Types of People You Meet at the Sneaker Store (And Yes, One of Them Is Definitely You)

Sneaker stores are the happiest places on Earth that isn't Disney.

You walk in buzzing: new drops on the wall, that fresh rubber smell, imagining every pair on your feet, your partner’s feet, under the Christmas tree… pure dopamine.

But then you notice the people.

And suddenly the shop isn’t just a shop; it’s a full-blown reality show with creases instead of commercials.

Here are the 10 characters you will 100 % see on your next trip (tick them off like Pokémon cards):

• The Raffle Camper

  Outside since dawn, wrapped in a blanket, charging five phones. Knows the manager’s blood type.

• The “Just Looking” Guy

  Says it once. Leaves with six bags and a smirk.

• The Fake Checker

  Full detective mode: loupe, blacklight, ruler. Still copping reps later.

• The Mum Buying Her Son’s First Big-Boy Shoes

  “He wants the black and white ones everyone has.” (Accidentally creates the next Panda addict.)

• The Reseller in Disguise

  Hood up, sunglasses indoors, buying every size 9–11 like it’s Tesco meal deal.

• The Employee’s Mate

  Walks straight into the stockroom like he owns Narnia. Emerges with pairs that don’t exist.

• The “Do You Have These in the Back?” Warrior

  Points at a display shoe that’s literally nailed to the wall. Will not surrender.

• The Hype Kid with Mum’s Credit Card

  14 years old, holding £900 Travis 1s, screaming “It’s an investment, Mum!”

• The Old Head Nostalgia Merchant

  “Back in my day Jordans had real leather and cost £59.99”  Tells the story to anyone in a 5-metre radius. Buys nothing.

• You

  Reading this on your phone in the queue, pretending you’re not entering another raffle. We hope you're having a wonderful time sneaker shopping and found the perfect pair that you were looking for.

Next time you’re in the shop, just look around and smile. If you're currently in a shop, look around and see if you spot anyone from our list.

We’re all part of the same circus, just wearing different shoes.

Now go cop something fresh and enjoy the show. 👟✨